Having a four year old is like being given the gift of a Light that never goes off - even in the middle of the night. Four year olds also offer the opportunity to be in touch with viral contacts that are not web-based nor healthful.
I felt like a good Mom this weekend. On Friday, Ana got uncharacteristically clingy, which is the first sign that her health is going south. I rearranged my workday and kept her home from school to keep an eye on her. I took her to the doctor, who prescribed some medication, which I picked up at the Pharmacy. Ana developed a fever and I stayed up with her all night. The next morning, with the little energy either of us had left, Ana helped me in her own way to change sheets and pillowcases as we tried to disinfect the house.
At 4pm, it felt like someone struck me with a hard blow and I had to lay down. I was simply and suddenly unable to function. At one point, I would have been attending to Ana, taking her temperature and applying the appropriate medication, but I was in the bathroom, giving over the contents of my stomach. From my position on the floor of the bathroom, I could see Ana’s little face and big round, scared eyes peering at me from beneath the bedcovers. I wanted to tell that I’d be right there and that everything was fine, but words were not what was forthcoming.
While I felt entirely helpless, I thought of how much more helpless my little girl was - the girl who tells me at least once a week that she can take care of herself and asks how old she has to be to have her own house. I try not to take that personally. And at that moment, I imagined how frightening it would be if I saw my strong, capable Mother, completely incapacitated. She might be worried about who would take care of her if Mom can’t.
When I finally rolled back into bed, I talked to Ana about how Mom was only sick for a while and that I would be strong again soon and take better care of her. Then I thought of all the single mothers (or fathers) out there, who have one or more children, no relatives close by, and who struggle with this same situation. I thought about Mothers who are sick a lot - who can’t say that it will be just a little while until they are well - and want to take care of their children, but simply cannot.
At that moment, I imagined all the Mothers around the world who felt helpless to take care of their children in a circle of Light. I asked the Spirit of Light to come into each Mother’s heart and to bring them strength, courage, and self-compassion.
Then I thought that the next time I got to know a single Mom, I would ask if I could help or if I might even be that person on her speed dial in case of emergency.
Isn’t it amazing that a little, tiny four year old can be the instigator of global awarenss and prayer?
When Dr. Oz asked me on his radio show what the connection was between past lives and current work life, I told him a story about one of my clients who is the senior leader of a mid-sized company.
The information I had about this woman besides her work was: her name; her feeling that she had recently started to like her work less; and that sometimes she felt uncharacteristically tired. She wanted to know what was behind her feelings.
After I closed my eyes and heard her say her full name, I immediately saw a symbol of a very large, firm stick, which had been planted there a long time. This stick was accompanied by a sense of determination and discipline. A vaguer image around the stick was a file cabinet, neatly marked, and infinitely efficient. There were hard edged objects precisely placed, and I noted no sense of softness or even flexibility. Everything in her seemed “fixed.”
It was apparent that she defined herself by her ability to fix almost anything and/or anyone by focus, force, discipline and determination. As I brushed aside this image, I immediately felt a sense of exhaustion. The next thing that appeared was an image of Quan Yin, who is called the female version of the Buddha and represents the heart of compassion. I hesitated a moment, not knowing if this woman was Christian and might be offended by what I was about to say, but I plunged in anyway, committed to being honest about what I saw.
“You are very hard on yourself,” I said. “It is a strategy you have used to earn love and to survive when there was no one to help you. You have perfected this strategy and used it to excel in your field. Now, however, you are being invited onto a kinder path – where the challenge is to befriend and find compassion for yourself. Quan Yin is present with you (I explained who she is). You had another life with her where you were tending her garden – devoted to her. (this story unfolded as Quan Yin’s image lit up) She has returned to you with blessings, wanting to help and guide you toward self-compassion, which will result in more satisfying relationships at work and even change the way you prioritize and focus on work. In addition you will feel less exhaustion when you stop funding this strategy of earning the love you already possess – and that possesses you. I facilitated some energetic shifts that resulted in Sandra saying she suddenly felt calmer. Then she said something quite curious:
“I have a two foot, jade statue of Quan Yin in my garden and I never knew why I was so attracted to her. I never knew anything about her until now. I was just drawn to buy the statue and put her in my garden.”
So, Dr. Oz, that’s one thing that other lifetimes have to do with current work life!