Sometimes I catch myself whining inside my head…ever do that? This whining lives in my brain in a space between where I am and where I want to be. My fierce determination to achieve my goals sometimes causes me to I live in that between space called “where I am not”, whether it be that house I want; that book I want published; or how I’m not giving my daughter more space to express her feelings. The list can go on and on. Even as I think I’m pointing myself to a greener pasture, I’m creating a bigger island called “What and Where I’m Not.”
My brother, Tom, has a sort of dance and bob he does with his head that just makes you feel like joining in with “Oh yeah”, in that deeply self-satisfied way. Perhaps much less often than my brother, I feel like that too. That’s the land of “I am here, I am happy- oh yeah!” I’ve thought about what it would take to live in that world instead of the “What I’m not”world and realized I was wanting to be like Tom, which made me compare and think “That’s where I’m not.” Oh brother!
Appreciative Inquiry (AI) http://www.appreciativeinquiry.case.edu/ is a wonderful methodology and philosophy I learned a while ago that says that if we can find the places where we have been successful in the past, then tell ourselves or others those stories - rich in detail of how it felt - that we can then face challenges and goals from a position of strength. It’s like telling our unconscious mind that what is in front of us is another opportunity to succeed with the same confidence as we had when we did it before. It’s called “The Discipline of Positive Change”. Isn’t that a great moniker?
So today I’m asking myself: how did I ever find a house as wonderful as the one I live in now? What was the process that made writing my magnificent 120 page dissertation work so well? How did I contribute to my daughter’s laughter and joy today? And how am I - oh yeah! - so satisfied with myself today?
Time to appreciate and inquire about the best of What Is.